ordinary people

When someone starts to care about you..what do you do?even before this you havent "tasted" the feeling of being cared for even once in a life.not in a way this one person cares about you.and then even after all the trouble of caring about you,it doesnt get appreciated much by yourself.i understand that that must hurt a lot even more when its truly sincere.
this happened to me about moments ago.if you know me you would know that i am a really forgetul person and especially the little things that i ought to do or should do,i rarely remember unless i get reminded always.for example, my mother asked me to go to the high commission to ask for an extension on an application so i keep forgetting it and the only thing that can make me remember? is if a person forces it into my head and only by that way i could remember.

From when i was little people always said that i was clumsy and now i can see why.if my forgetullness does not hurt anyone im okay wiht it.its when it involves me forgetting something that hurts someone that i start to feel like a real a**hole and i start to think about stupid things.So people can always get hurt when they're around me just because of something that i cant control,maybe im better off without friends so that i never hurt anyone..but that would be a long shot nonetheless,i have thought about it.

i always think about everyting going wrong as my fauld and its always true.the fact is that i didnt mean to hurt anyone but i cant do anything about it other than say sorry but still sorry can't change anything but i just wanted to be there and beg for your forgiveness and cry..yes i said that i would cry.but the fact is that i cant because its not the right thing to do.that would mean that i stole your forgiveness.the only thing to to is wait.wait that somehow you would find the heart to forgive me just a litte.BL